T and I have been married for almost 27 years. We dated for four years before getting married. I was 15 years old when we started dating. He was 17. You can do the math on that one. I often wonder how many times we have done certain things, said certain things. How many meals have we shared?
Meals are very important to us and to our entire family. From the beginning of our marriage, we have shared the evening meal together whenever possible. As the kids began coming along, that evening meal became even more important. It was the one time each day when we were all gathered together without any distractions. We shared our days, and our lives, with each other.
Now with our kids growing up and having busy schedules of their own, we never know from day-to-day how many people will be at our dinner table. Some days, it is just T and I with little Lola. Other days, our table is full with all of our kids and a variety of their friends. Either way, there is a daily gathering at our table each evening. During good times and bad, our family shares the evening meal each day.
T and I have been finding it increasingly difficult to have private conversations. There are always interruptions, second opinions, and distractions when we try to talk to each other at home. By the time we find ourselves alone at the end of the day, we are often too tired to care about talking. This past year, we have started meeting each other for lunch a few times each week.
This has been a stressful week for me. I am juggling way too many balls at work right now, and preparing for work-related travel next week. Tonight, I am giving a presentation at City Council, and I will miss that important evening meal. I was engrossed in my work this morning when my phone buzzed with an incoming text. T asked me, “Do you have your hat on?” I just smiled. I had told him this morning that I had on my “Bitch Hat,” and I wasn’t even out of my robe yet. Before I was even out of bed, I was responding to work emails via phone.
It’s kind of an amazing thing to me whenever I get a text from him. I know the effort it takes him to compose a text. T is NOT a techno geek. 🙂 He sent another text asking me to meet him for lunch, but that I better not be wearing the hat around him. T always has a way of reminding me of who I am and where I come from. He brings me back down to Earth. T is my past. He is green grass and days spent fishing. He keeps me grounded and reminds me of the things that I truly hold dear in my heart.
I enjoy the lunches T and I share. We are two different people when we meet during the work day. We are both in “work mode,” not Mom and Dad or Husband and Wife mode. We don’t talk about the kids. We don’t talk about household matters. We talk about our mornings, what we did at work so far, or what our afternoons hold. We are T and Pam. We meet for a few moments several times each week just as ourselves.