Where Do We Draw The Line?

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facebook-privacy-ftr

Does privacy exist anymore?  Today I had a board member question me about some articles I had posted on Facebook.  Sounds like I’m edgy, doesn’t it?  Sounds like I’m into porn or….I don’t know what….but something lewd.  Well, not so much if I tell you that the articles were about historic preservation.  This board member was concerned that I was publicly too much of an advocate of preservation.  Well, duh!  Preservation is a HUGE part of my job.  Preservation is something I believe in with all my heart and soul. Continue Reading »

Cattle Prod

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Cattle Prod

Last night as I sat on the couch, I wished for a cattle prod.  I had worked all day, made dinner after work, and after dinner I went around the house picking up various messes that I had not created.  When I finally sat down, I felt worn out and lonely.  There hadn’t been one truly enjoyable moment all day.  Thank goodness, I love my job.  Work is my outlet and last night, that fact made me kind of sad.  I am extremely grateful to get paid for doing something that is often rewarding and enjoyable to me, but I am discouraged about my life outside of work. Continue Reading »

Beware of Narcissists

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cowkrer

I began writing this blog post weeks ago.  I’m not sure where I was going with it, but I felt that it was a relevant follow-up to yesterday’s post.  ~ Pam

In recent years, I have been engaged in a war, my own private, personal holy war.  I hadn’t realized it until recently, but hindsight has a way of pealing away the layers of emotion to reveal still shots, vignettes, of truth.  To look at me, no one would be able to guess the battles I have waged and the exhaustion in my weary mind and body.  From the outside looking in, I appear to be calm, successful, and in control of my lovely life.  In reality, I am wary, cautious, always looking deeply into the eyes, minds, and hearts of the people who enter my life.  On what side of this war have they placed their allegiance?  It’s not always an easy thing to identify.  The enemy is  clever.  They cloak themselves in good humor, joviality, even friendship.  They are intelligent and always charming, but eventually, it is impossible for them to stay under cover.  The black spots on their souls eventually appear.  Most of them aren’t clever enough to cross the guard posts that surround me.  My experience is my defense.  My security is tight.  Very few people are allowed to cross into my camp.  My circle of real friends is small.  I keep most people out, or at least far enough away not to allow them to hurt me.  If I don’t allow myself to care, I won’t be hurt..  I don’t allow many people to enter into my emotional world.  No doubt, this keeps good people out, but that is of little consequence to me.  I don’t care.  The most important thing is to keep the enemy at bay. Continue Reading »

Dormant Virus

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depression

My daughter, Emily, was sick with mononucleosis during her freshman year in high school.  Aside from accidents and injuries, this was the sickest I had ever seen any of my kids.  What started out as something that appeared to be a common cold, quickly escalated into a major illness.  She was covered with an angry red rash, her joints were visibly swollen, and her throat swelled to the point where she could not speak or eat solid food.  Being a “wait and see” mom didn’t work out very well in this instance.  As much reluctance as I had to take my kids to the doctor, I knew it couldn’t be avoided this time.  Unfortunately, beyond a definitive diagnosis, there wasn’t much that could be done medically for Emily other than to treat her symptoms.  Mono is a virus, and we just had to wait for it to run its course.  Em missed about three weeks of school, and it took her months to recover anything resembling the normal energy level of a 15-year-old girl.  The doctor told Emily that she would need to be careful.  The virus could remain with her in a dormant state, but could suddenly flare up if she allowed herself to become run down. Continue Reading »

Be Careful What You Wish For

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I had a birthday about a week ago.  I won’t mention numbers here, but it was a fairly significant (and painful!) birthday.  While having a birthday mixed up in the middle of the holiday season wasn’t so great when I was a kid, the older I get, the less I mind getting lost in the shuffle.

For many reasons, the holidays are not my favorite time of year.  However, the newness of a holiday in a different place was interesting.  We went all out on outdoor illumination.  Both of the boys were here for Thanksgiving, and we began the process that weekend.  Emily added more lights one day when she wasn’t working.  We added more lights the following weekend.  By the time it was all said and done, we had a pretty respectable outdoor display.  We especially enjoyed the uniqueness of our choice of pastel colors in our very white-bread, Stepford-esque neighborhood.  If prizes had been given, our house would have won the award for “Most Unique.”  I smiled every time I pulled into the driveway after work during December, and I already miss our happy display of lights.  I might have to dig out the pink lights for a Valentine’s display, although that might be a violation of our HOA regulations. Continue Reading »