A May Day Memory

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The year was 2001, and my 12-year-old son had been in a coma for over a week. He had recently been airlifted to a university hospital for another surgery, his third in the past week. This was going to be a delicate surgery. His eye muscle was trapped in an orbital fracture. His nose was broken, too, and needed to be repaired. While these repairs would ordinarily be complicated, the complications were compounded by my son’s skull fracture and significant brain swelling. The surgery posed a risk of further brain damage. Without it, his eye would forever be “sunk” into the socket and cease to function. These were horrible choices for a parent to make.  I wouldn’t wish this kind of life-altering decision on my worst enemy. Continue Reading »

Taking Too Much For Granted

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I was driving in one direction, and T was heading the other way.   We were both on the same two-lane road, so it was inevitable that we would eventually see each other in passing.  We were talking on the phone at the time.  I waved as he passed by.  He lifted his hand in return.  As his image faded into my rearview mirror, we continued talking.  T said, “I hate to admit this, but I am tired of being a parent.”  Ah….I knew how he was feeling. I was feeling tired at that moment, too.  T quickly admitted that he felt terrible for even saying such a thing, and I told him that it was OK.  I said, “It’s OK to feel tired, because I know that you will never stop caring about them and being a good parent.” Continue Reading »