Emilyism Number One


The population of our little farm town is about 1,600 people.  I know my address, but I couldn’t tell you anyone else’s.  People are directed to locations around town by landmarks or by where someone else live.   Turn right at the water tower.  Or just past the Methodist Church.  Or next to where the Dahl’s used to live.  In fact, I live in Mrs. Slater’s old house.  If anyone were to ask, that’s what I would say, “Mrs. Slater’s House.”  Mrs. Slater taught second grade for probably close to 50 years.

Today, our little town was hopping.  It was community garage sale day.  People from all over the area come to our town for this.  There are hundreds of garage sales and the Booster Club sells pork chops sandwiches and brats in the park.  Yep, probably close to 500 extra people are milling around our town for the day.

T, Lola, and I went to the city to buy our week’s worth of groceries.  $256.00 today!  It costs a lot to maintain this family.  I tried to turn on the radio for our drive, but the local Cumulus stations were not broadcasting.  There had been a storm last night, and I imagine a tower was  struck by lightning.

This afternoon, Emily mentioned the non-working radio stations to me.  She had an interesting theory.  Oh, and I hesitate to even write this.  Please keep in mind that she is 17, and such a sweet girl.  She is innocent and certainly gullible!!  BUT…she is so smart, too.  She just got her ACT scores back, and they were fantastic!  Anyway, here goes.  Emily said that she thinks the reason we didn’t have radio signal today was because there were SO MANY people in town today.  She theorized that so many people driving around had interfered with the radio frequency.  I simply stared at her dumbfounded. I went on to ask how she thought cities like Chicago were able to get radio transmission with such a large population?  She said, with a straight face, that they “use different frequencies. ”  Wow….did I ever laugh!

Oh, boy, is she ever like her mother.  You’ve heard the Dumb Blonde Jokes, right?  Well, we fit the bill!  In fact, I have a friend who winks every time he is telling a joke, being sarcastic, or teasing.  He winks to cue me in.  I believe every damn thing anyone tells me.  Example:  Last week the kids convinced me to eat smoked turkey on an oatmeal cookie.  It was terrible, but they told me that they had tried it and found it to be a really delicious, unique taste combination.  Man….  If anyone ever offers you turkey on oatmeal, don’t try it.  It was horrible!

Yes, my Emily is sweet and precious, but her gullibility and innocence scare the hell out of me!