So Sorry For Me

I have been sick going on six days now.  I haven’t written, because there isn’t much to say about time spent blowing my nose, coughing, and basically being bitchy.  I sat here tonight looking back over this past week, and trying to find at least a few redeeming moments.  I haven’t had much success.

Happy New Year

I held Lola’s hand to cross a busy street in Milwaukee.  As I hurried her along, she said, “Mom, you can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.  We go slow in the country.”  I immediately smiled at her words.  I don’t know where she has heard that phrase, but I do know that she was speaking the truth.  No matter where she is, now or in the future, she is a country girl.  I was so proud to hear those words, at that time, and in that place.  What my little daughter’s words reminded me was that fact that the things we instill in our children stay with them no matter where they go,  or how far away they are from home…or from us.

Love is a Verb

I’m not having the best day.  Too many meetings, and another concert tonight.  Thank goodness, this is the last one of the season.  It rained this morning, just enough to make this a bad hair day, but it is still too little, too late to make a difference in the crops this year.

August Playlists

In 2010, I began to create a new iPod playlist each month.  I usually copy the entire list from the previous month into the next month’s list, and then I begin the process of adding new songs and deleting songs that I’m sick of hearing.  I have saved all of the lists from the past two years, and it’s been very interesting to see how the songs from each month have had a way of reflecting the events in my life at the time.  Each list tells a story.  Often though, that story isn’t revealed until months later as I look back at the songs and remember the events from that time.

Moonlighting

Do I have a sleep disorder?  Well, I do have fairly odd sleep patterns, but I’m not sure if I would classify them as a disorder.  I would think that if something is a disorder then the condition would bother me or those who live with me.  I’m not bothered at all, and those around me just roll their eyes.  They’re used to it.  They accept me for who I am, odd habits and all.

Tell Me A Little About This Karma Thing

Without fail, whenever all four kids are home, we have a few Hallmark moments.  It’s wonderful to see them come together now as adults, to see that they have missed each other, and to listen to their conversations.  On the other hand, things eventually disintegrate, and the siblings revert back to competitive children vying for attention.  Those Hallmark moments often turn into something you might see on the Jerry Springer show.  It is exhausting to keep a lid on things and to monitor the situation.

A Memory of Grace

My daughter, Grace, was born in November 1987.  She was ten weeks premature and lived for 17 days.  Amazingly, she would be older now than I was at the time of her birth.  When I look back on those 17 days, and the months that followed, it is like viewing a different person, not the woman I am today.  Yes, I know these memories are a part of who I am now, but I look back in sympathy and sadness over what that young woman endured.  I was little more than I child, yet I had to face some very adult situations and decisions.  It saddens me to remember those terrible days, yet I would go back and relive them in an instant to once more hold my baby, Grace.

Transitions

I’m sitting on the patio wearing shorts and a sweatshirt.  It’s such a lovely evening that I decided to take my laptop outside to write.  The sun is setting, and I’ve lit a couple of candles on the patio table.  The locusts are buzzing in the trees.  Near and far they’re calling out to each other.  The sounds are in layers coming loudly from the trees overhead but a softer, lower pitch from the trees out by the field.  The breeze is cool on my bare legs, and although I know that the heat of summer is not gone, I can feel the season beginning the transition into fall.